By: Mochamad Yusuf*
A friend complained about his wife. She used to always make his favorite dish after returning from duties outside the city. Included also pick her up at the airport or station. But now don’t cook, pick up is not. “Maybe tired,” I said, “maybe more kids that need attention right now.” I try explained about her reason.
Indeed if we think again, after a long time together, the little things we do not do anymore. For reasons already busy with various activities. So after a long time together, intimacy is lost. Even still not yet married, this intimacy is also moving away.
This usually happens after all this time together with a couple. You may begin to understand with all his habits. From the fun until a real headache. But for a long time as if something was missing. That is the passion that comes when with him. The intense pulse every time they met first, now no longer felt.
Perhaps this decline in levels of intimacy, because you feel more relaxed. Calm. There was no sense of fear of losing him. And sure he was always full of the love you even show what it is you really are. Once your discomfort, until you are still seeing it, he dared to meet the rollers in your hair or just in shorts only, not even a toothbrush!
Be careful. “Pain is very calm and they are too far like this can make intimacy more subsided. And finally disappear no trace,” said Lonnie Barbach, author of ‘Going the Distance: Finding Your Keeping Lifelong Love’.
Of course you do not want that to happen right? So what should be done? “As soon come up again feeling that you’ve enjoyed the first courtship,” said Lonnie.
Psychologist Kate Wachs agreed with this solution. “Feeling loved makes our behavior will change. And the sweet behavior will improve the taste of love. So interplay,” explained Kate.
That means you need to repeat once again acts done during the first fall in love. This will facilitate the growth of love and affection.
Here are some tips telling what I gathered from various sources to recover your lost intimacy.
Tips 1: Together again
Spend time with him/her again. Not only increase the intensity of the togetherness, also quality. Seems cliche, but it was effective. Together means physically close together. Now with the existence of a cheap anda easy communication, often it can be replaced together with the communication. Many calls will not be replaced even if this togetherness.
Yes indeed sometimes weird. A husband and wife may be, this togetherness was created. Met but did not even communicate or greet. Try to talk, even a trivial themes and simple.
Tips 2: Show off the world he’s/she’s on
Often because the long together, we are rarely together and introduce to others. And once the first time going out, we are proud to bring and introduce to others. With this introduction, you will be proud of and will increase the intimacy.
Tips 3: Spoiled
After a long with his, priorities were different. Not a couple of interest. For who was married the priority to the child. Often also because there is no time, ask for help others to do. No one did.
But once in a while try to spoil or get pampered by a couple. Maybe not the most delicious or best, but this form of attention or affection. For example ask massaged, special cooked, the way both his own and others patched.
[From various sources. TSA, 04/02/2010 at dawn]
*Mochamad Yusuf is a senior IT consultant, public speaker, radio host, lecturer and website & software developer at SAM Design, http://www.samdesign.com. Actively writing and his books have been published, “99 Jurus Sukses Mengembangkan Bisnis Lewat Internet”. You can follow his activities on his personal website, http://m.yusuf.web.id, or in his profile Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/mochyusuf.